Saturday is a very dull day.
i didn't really accomplish anything today but filling out some job applications.
filled my mp3 player and before bed I'm pumping out a few copies of my ep. for the Albany show next Sunday. I seriously spent all last week either puttering around the house eating every stitch of food i could eat. or walking for 4 straight hours into town to drop off & pick up applications. blah.

JCC in Watertown sent me a letter in the mail. i have ot fax them my high school/college transcripts on Monday (along with calling Bob's in Pburgh to try and secure a p.a. for the show Friday.) I'm still keeping my fingers crossed that i get an acceptance letter from OCC. i really want to move to Syracuse bad. but we'll see how my life path wants to be pathed.

I need to stop procrastinating the 3 books i started reading, yet haven't finished yet.

Aiden's birthday is the 16th. I'm taking a huge chunk of change from the money i made doing work for my dad, to buy him some presents like cloths and food. you know, things he'll actually need. I'm looking forward to celebrating his first birthday. this is sort of a really big deal for me, so I'm really excited.

And i had a fit of depression last night. the fact that I'm almost 30 and i haven't done anything with my life (really) just sorta kicked me in the ass, hard. you know, the fear of dying is kinda setting in, but not just dying parse. more like dying without fulfilling a real purpose. i know being vegan is number one of the being a great way to preventing cruelty to animals (the whole "one less meat eater" thing.) but sometime i get this urge to go out and just start sniping wire fence's and hacking down barns & stales, busting open cages, anything! it's really tough when you wanna save everyone and everything you can, but you just don't do it. i don't want to be one of those people who just bitches about it all my life. i wanna be a doer. It all goes back to this old zine i got called Strong Hearts, written by a native American, vegan animal rights activist from the 80's who was arrested and sent to jail for sabotaging whaling boats. he rights, publishes and sends the copies of his zines out from jail. it's so amazing hearing the stories of this guy or of his friends and how they actually fight against the outrageous conditions that animals suffer, not just on factory farms, but fur farms and in other cruel environments. risking their lives and freedom just to save another living being from harm & suffering. I WANNA DO THAT STUFF. it gets my blood pumping just thinking about making a change not just for an animal, but even for another living person. maybe one day I'll have the sheer determination to make a difference like that. oh, well.

i need next weekend to come already!!!

AND SOMEONE TELL ME TO STOP LISTENING TO SO MUCH FOUR YEAR STRONG & SET YOUR GOALS!!!